[There's a part of him that really, really wants to simulate the best orgasm he's ever had right in that moment, moans and wails that'd shake the school, but that's exactly that kind of thing that'll keep them static. Without any best instincts to speak of, he just needs to ignore his worst instincts and hope that works.]

Alright. No more crap. I know this isn't all about what I said, because - [Well, it just can't be.] - that'd be stupid even for you. So what the hell is going on?