[He's sorry. Really, genuinely sorry. John almost wants to kiss him for that - in the library, outside of their extra-curricular activities, he just wants to get up on tiptoe and kiss him because John got into a sulk and Ryan is sorry for causing it rather than scathing, amused or dismissive. That's a shockingly rare event in his life.
But of course, he can't. And it's almost funny to him, how Petre is heading off what he'd perceive as a threat, but he'd never guess who it actually is. But it's mostly infuriating.]
Forget it. Must've looked weird as hell, huh. [John grins, one of his quieter, more intimate grins, and starts shelving again.] But no, it was - good. I wouldn't wanna stop that.
[He laughs, a bit unsteadily.] It was really fucking good.
[That grin gets one in response, pleased and relieved. It was good, he doesn't want to stop-- that soothes the lingering worry he's had since he last saw John, and while he's still incredibly pissed with Petre... it can wait. He can set that aside.]
I don't want to stop either.
[The thought comes with an image, sent mostly intentionally, bleeding through with how badly he wants it: himself moving in and leaning down to kiss John again, arms wrapped around him. An obvious edge of frustration is there too, though, and it's finished with-]
[His back straightens up, goes rigid, an obvious shiver passing through his body at the image - the way Ryan can enfold around him completely, surround him, is still something new and rather thrilling, and seeing it presented in that way sends a spike of desire right into his gut as well. Everything with Ryan is new and it makes him crave more: things they haven't tried yet, things he's only just realized he ever thought about in the past, everything.
He turns his head up again, bare longing in his eyes for just a second as they meet Ryan's, then looks away.]
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-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I just- I overreacted, I guess.
[Ryan rubs at the back of his neck, not quite looking at him.]
Wasn't sure where we stood after- what we did, and then with that happening--
I'm sorry, John.
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But of course, he can't. And it's almost funny to him, how Petre is heading off what he'd perceive as a threat, but he'd never guess who it actually is. But it's mostly infuriating.]
Forget it. Must've looked weird as hell, huh. [John grins, one of his quieter, more intimate grins, and starts shelving again.] But no, it was - good. I wouldn't wanna stop that.
[He laughs, a bit unsteadily.] It was really fucking good.
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I don't want to stop either.
[The thought comes with an image, sent mostly intentionally, bleeding through with how badly he wants it: himself moving in and leaning down to kiss John again, arms wrapped around him. An obvious edge of frustration is there too, though, and it's finished with-]
(this is so unfair)
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He turns his head up again, bare longing in his eyes for just a second as they meet Ryan's, then looks away.]
It's bullshit. But I'll fix it somehow.