[Okay, time to weigh pros and cons. On one side, Ryan is sure to make this 100 times worse if he finds out what's really happened. On the other hand, he's just as sure to keep misreading it and walk away with a much deeper wound than John could have intended if there's no explanation.
Can he even warn Ryan against Petre again when he's been flying so recklessly around his web since the first warning? Will that work? Fuck it, he'll try.]
Put your hand out. Palm up. Like you're waving, but keep it still.
[He stares for a moment, unsure just what John's getting at- but eventually he nods, holds his hand up as he'd been told.]
...what for? You're not making any sense here, John.
[One moment he's insisting there's not going to be anything between them, pulling away from him, and now... whatever the hell this is? Ryan absolutely isn't following.]
[He holds his own hand up, tries to press his palm against Ryan's - and it slides off to one side just as they're close enough to feel the heat from one another's skin, like their hands are magnets with the same poles facing outward.
He does it again, same result. With his other hand, the same thing. It's obvious from his expression and the nature of the movements that this is out of his control.]
[He watches it happen a couple times in disbelief before he tries to touch John's hand himself, with the same result-- and lets his own drop back to his side.]
John, what's going on- is this some weird part of the punishment? They wouldn't--
[No, fuck that, he's not even listening to that order. This might be the only time John gets to see him well and truly pissed, the anger practically rolling off of him like waves of mental heat-- there's a line and this goes so far over it he can't let it go. Not when it's John, not when it's in between him and what he wants.]
No you're not. I am dealing with this. Don't go near it, Ryan.
[He moves closer, which only means he has to crane his neck up ridiculously to maintain his hard look, but it's a natural dominant movement. Even when he's talking to someone so huge.]
This is because I joked about maybe liking Harry more than him. That's it. That's how little it took to set him off. If he finds out what we did? You're not running headfirst into that shitstorm.
I'm not gonna tell him, John, I can keep that quiet--
[He's sure the anger could drown out any accidental thoughts. Keep him focused. The problem is convincing John of that... and he's getting the feeling that's not likely to happen.
[John finally relaxes at that, because although he was unwilling to accept other, more grandiose promises from Ryan, this is a simple one. Just stay out of business that isn't his. It wasn't even what they did that set it off, so he's got no reason to become involved.
(Caring? What's caring?)]
I wouldn't just start acting like you were contagious if I thought what we did was a mistake. I - we can talk about things. You're one of the only people I can talk to about things.
[It's his turn to let just a flicker of hurt show.]
[He's sorry. Really, genuinely sorry. John almost wants to kiss him for that - in the library, outside of their extra-curricular activities, he just wants to get up on tiptoe and kiss him because John got into a sulk and Ryan is sorry for causing it rather than scathing, amused or dismissive. That's a shockingly rare event in his life.
But of course, he can't. And it's almost funny to him, how Petre is heading off what he'd perceive as a threat, but he'd never guess who it actually is. But it's mostly infuriating.]
Forget it. Must've looked weird as hell, huh. [John grins, one of his quieter, more intimate grins, and starts shelving again.] But no, it was - good. I wouldn't wanna stop that.
[He laughs, a bit unsteadily.] It was really fucking good.
[That grin gets one in response, pleased and relieved. It was good, he doesn't want to stop-- that soothes the lingering worry he's had since he last saw John, and while he's still incredibly pissed with Petre... it can wait. He can set that aside.]
I don't want to stop either.
[The thought comes with an image, sent mostly intentionally, bleeding through with how badly he wants it: himself moving in and leaning down to kiss John again, arms wrapped around him. An obvious edge of frustration is there too, though, and it's finished with-]
[His back straightens up, goes rigid, an obvious shiver passing through his body at the image - the way Ryan can enfold around him completely, surround him, is still something new and rather thrilling, and seeing it presented in that way sends a spike of desire right into his gut as well. Everything with Ryan is new and it makes him crave more: things they haven't tried yet, things he's only just realized he ever thought about in the past, everything.
He turns his head up again, bare longing in his eyes for just a second as they meet Ryan's, then looks away.]
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[Okay, time to weigh pros and cons. On one side, Ryan is sure to make this 100 times worse if he finds out what's really happened. On the other hand, he's just as sure to keep misreading it and walk away with a much deeper wound than John could have intended if there's no explanation.
Can he even warn Ryan against Petre again when he's been flying so recklessly around his web since the first warning? Will that work? Fuck it, he'll try.]
Put your hand out. Palm up. Like you're waving, but keep it still.
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...what for? You're not making any sense here, John.
[One moment he's insisting there's not going to be anything between them, pulling away from him, and now... whatever the hell this is? Ryan absolutely isn't following.]
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He does it again, same result. With his other hand, the same thing. It's obvious from his expression and the nature of the movements that this is out of his control.]
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[He watches it happen a couple times in disbelief before he tries to touch John's hand himself, with the same result-- and lets his own drop back to his side.]
John, what's going on- is this some weird part of the punishment? They wouldn't--
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[He sets his jaw furiously, giving Ryan a hard look.]
And you're not doing anything about it. I'll deal with this.
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[No, fuck that, he's not even listening to that order. This might be the only time John gets to see him well and truly pissed, the anger practically rolling off of him like waves of mental heat-- there's a line and this goes so far over it he can't let it go. Not when it's John, not when it's in between him and what he wants.]
I'm gonna talk to him.
[Flat, decisive.]
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[He moves closer, which only means he has to crane his neck up ridiculously to maintain his hard look, but it's a natural dominant movement. Even when he's talking to someone so huge.]
This is because I joked about maybe liking Harry more than him. That's it. That's how little it took to set him off. If he finds out what we did? You're not running headfirst into that shitstorm.
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[He's sure the anger could drown out any accidental thoughts. Keep him focused. The problem is convincing John of that... and he's getting the feeling that's not likely to happen.
So he breathes out, slowly, takes a step back.]
...fine. Fine, I won't.
[He will.]
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[For someone who doesn't want protecting, he's sure doing a lot of it himself right now.]
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...alright, I promise. I won't do it.
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(Caring? What's caring?)]
I wouldn't just start acting like you were contagious if I thought what we did was a mistake. I - we can talk about things. You're one of the only people I can talk to about things.
[It's his turn to let just a flicker of hurt show.]
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-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I just- I overreacted, I guess.
[Ryan rubs at the back of his neck, not quite looking at him.]
Wasn't sure where we stood after- what we did, and then with that happening--
I'm sorry, John.
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But of course, he can't. And it's almost funny to him, how Petre is heading off what he'd perceive as a threat, but he'd never guess who it actually is. But it's mostly infuriating.]
Forget it. Must've looked weird as hell, huh. [John grins, one of his quieter, more intimate grins, and starts shelving again.] But no, it was - good. I wouldn't wanna stop that.
[He laughs, a bit unsteadily.] It was really fucking good.
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I don't want to stop either.
[The thought comes with an image, sent mostly intentionally, bleeding through with how badly he wants it: himself moving in and leaning down to kiss John again, arms wrapped around him. An obvious edge of frustration is there too, though, and it's finished with-]
(this is so unfair)
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He turns his head up again, bare longing in his eyes for just a second as they meet Ryan's, then looks away.]
It's bullshit. But I'll fix it somehow.